|
Categories
Joke Archive
Picture Archive
Adventures of the Rusty GoatAnimalsBlondeCartoonsChristmasComputersFarmerFunny PictureGoatLawyerMedicalMiscPeoplePoliticalRedneckRelationshipsReligiousSportstestTexas JokesWorkYo Mamma
Links
Southern Star PecansPlay free games onlineTexas GoatTexas Pecan
Add Jokes
If you are a new user click here
Forgot your password?
Sponsor
|
|
Gone Haywire
Joke Info
Category : Adventures of the Rusty Goat
Rating : 5.00
Contributor : n/a
Type : T
|
|
|
| I'm getting a little skittish...in more ways than one. I suddenly find myself hesitant to tell y'all everything that is happening in my life...I have this fear that somehow this secret might get out to the wrong people. What secret? The Rusty Goat thing...duh! You have to understand that I have shared the connection between the Rusty Goat and myself with only three people...but for some time I have had suspicions that more people know. I know some of them know...how? I don't know. It's not like they just look at me and think, "I'll bet he has a website where he puts all this stuff up for a half-million people to read...I bet he writes crap about me!" Think about it...would anyone ever think that about you? So, am I just being paranoid? I don't think so...but then again, perhaps I have physiological disorders. So how could they discover my secret...well, lets see. Most of the people I know...know what I really do and they know I have ummm...five websites to market what I do...and all five are on the first page of Google. If these people happened across the right website, they would see a link to the Rusty Goat...and BAMMM, I'm busted. And...on occassion, I have handed out my business cards to some cute chicks...no it doesn't say "Hi, I'm the Rusty Goat and I'm going to write crap about you..." but if they happened to check out a website or two...BAMMM...busted again. So why am I suddenly skittish? Because I'm starting to really like HER and I don't want to mess it up. What do you think...if she found out I was posting my every move with her on the internet...would it mess something up? I think YES.
Let's take the brown-eyed girl that was my Friday night girl until last Friday night. I gave her my card with not only my number on it but a couple of websites listed...one which prominately displays a link to the Rusty Goat site ...although she never called me, curiosity could have gotten the best of her...so...sweetheart, God forbid, but if you're reading this...you were there Friday night and you know how things went womperskat...and you know I still think you hung the moon...but nevertheless, I'm telling this story. I just hope my Saturday night girl doesn't know about the Rusty Goat and stumbles across this story. It's a very real possibility..I'll tell you how in the story...finally, on to the story...
I felt it in my gut before Friday night ever arrived...I knew my Saturday night girl would show up on Friday night. I struggled with just how I would manage keeping both my Friday night girl and her happy. I had come to the conclusion that I'd just dance with both of them, after I'm the Rusty Goat...I could pull it off! Sure as shootin' when I strolled in Friday night, there she sat...my Saturday night girl...at the table right next to mine. I felt a little queasy at the sight of her, but I was determined to stick to my plan. I sat down at the table beside hers and we chatted off and on...I was relieved when my buddy Mark showed up and I could focus my attention on him and our usual 'catch-up on the week' talk. I kept an eye on the front door for my Friday night girl, who was running later than usual. Forty five minutes passed and Mark decided it was time for him to chase a few gals...and I was ready to dance, too, so I took two steps over to the table next to me and asked my Saturday night girl to dance. She smiled and bounced up. We danced four dances before taking our seats. I glanced up and spotted my Friday night girl and her girlfriend taking a table four tables away from mine. I smiled at her...a smile that told her I'd be over there once she had settled in. Well, I thought, while she's settling in...I may as well grab another dance with my Saturday night girl...and I did. As we walked off the dance floor after another three dances, I noticed a man had set down beside my Friday night girl...well, I have a rule about that...no dancing with girls that have a man sitting beside them...so I danced another four dances with the Saturday night girl. I went to the bar for another Coors Light and noticed the man had moved away from my Friday night girl. I went over and asked her to dance. We got out on the dance floor and she said in a scolding way, "It took you an hour to ask me to dance!" I gave her a look and replied, "Hey, you had a man over there. For all I know, the two of you are seeing each other. I ain't out to get into any trouble." She rolled her eyes, "He's just a friend. You can come get me to dance. I want you to." We finished a couple of dances and I took her back to her table. As I took a seat at mine, I noticed the Saturday night girl give me a look that said she wasn't overly happy with me dancing with the other girl. I sat for a few songs and grabbed my Saturday night girl and took off to the dance floor. We danced six dances before she gave any indication she was ready for a break. I went back to my Friday night girl and asked her to dance. On the dance floor, she said..."You and that blonde sure are getting pretty cozy. What's up with that?" Folks, don't ask me why I always tell the truth...I just do. I said, "Well...She's my Saturday night girl just like you're my Friday night girl." We made a complete round around the dance floor before she spoke, "Well...tonight is Friday night!" We danced in silence until the song ended. As I walked back to my table, I noticed the Saturday night girl eyeing me...I realized it was time to make a decision. I decided I would ask the Saturday night girl to dance again. It was a slow dance and she laid her head on my shoulder, her head pressed against my cheek. I felt the burning glare from the Friday night girl every time we passed by her table. As luck would have it...the song ended just as we came back around to her table and the blonde raised her head, looked into my eyes, and her lips drew near to mine and...well, that pretty much sealed the deal...right there in front of the Friday night girl. I knew I was now down to one gal. It took the Friday night girl a whole ten minutes to find her a young cowboy. Ya know what? I was good with it. I was relieved. I spent the rest of the night dancing with my Saturday night girl...and it was good. When it came time to leave, she gave me another kiss and I told her I'd see her tomorrow night. I drove home with no regrets.
(Saturday night) Yes...she was there and we hit the dance floor early. Everything was going just perfectly. I had noticed that she looked better than she had ever looked...all dolled up and just beautiful...and I told her so. The bar filled up early...it was Valentines Eve and everyone in the city was coming out. By ten o'clock the place was packed. I couldn't even get to the bar to get a beer. We tried to dance on the crowded dance floor...it was more like bumper cars. I realized I was struggling to have a good time...but still we attempted to dance. I finally made it to the bar for a beer around eleven and suddenly out of nowhere I heard, "There you are...I was hoping you would be here tonight. Will you please dance with me?" I turned around and saw the thirty three year old married girl I had danced with weeks earlier. She had wanted to dance with me that night because I was the only guy who hadn't tried to get in her pants. I grinned at her, "Heck yeah...let's dance!" We shoved our way to the dance floor and danced to a slow waltz.. I glanced at my girl sitting beside the dance floor. I wasn't sure I was reading her face just right...was she ok with this? The song ended and I made my way back off the dance floor and ...She was gone! It was barely eleven o'clock...and she left...Aw hell! I lost my Friday night girl and now my Satruday night girl is gone...OMG! It was that exact moment that it hit me like a brick...I really like this girl...and she's gone!
I spent the whole next evening searching for my Saturday night girl on the internet. It was after midnight before I finally stumbled across her...Facebook...yes! I had to get ahold of her! I spent the next day getting a facebook page set up that wouldn't be a complete embarrassment and then I did it...I sent her a request to be 'my friend.' I included a note that said simply, 'I got a bone to pick with you...' Then I waited... for hours. I cleaned house, I did laundry, I was cooking supper...and all of a sudden it hit me...I had put a link to the Rusty Goat website on my facebook page...I panicked, running to my laptop. I rushed to Facebook...and there she was...my new friend. I struggled to figure out how to remove the link...she was probably reading those stories about her right now..how the hell do you get things OFF of facebook...and suddenly...the chat box pops up...and the message read, "So, what kind of bone ya got to pick with me?" Well folks, we've chatted...we've exchanged four or five emails...maybe everything is ok. I'm thinkin' I'll know for sure come Friday night...if she doesn't show up...well, I can always sit at my table and watch my once upon a time Friday night girl smirk at me all night...I'll let ya know how it goes!
|
|
|
|
|
Subscribe
Sign up for our email list and recieve jokes in your email!
Sponsor
|
|
